Monday, September 27, 2010


Joysticks (1983)
If there was any other genre of film that flooded video stores in the 80's more than horror it would have to be the sex comedy genre, And that is what I am tackling tonight, With one of the lesser known films in the category Greydon Clark's (Black Shampoo, Satan's Cheerleaders) Joysticks. Jeff Bailey is the grandson of a local Arcade owner and is taking over while he is out along with his best childhood friend Jonathan McDorfus and his newest employee Eugene .All being stereotypes of the 80's with Jeff the hunky rich playboy, Dorfus The fat sloppy comedic relief (Although most of that relief is in the form of fart jokes.) and Eugene of course being the nerdy virgin supplying the awkward sexual moments including him flinging a Hot Dog between a woman's breasts, Stay classy movie.The story itself is not that original as it is the standard local big rig wants to shut down the operation and the fight to keep it open much like The Bikini Car wash Company and the likes. Joseph Rutter , Played by Joe Don Baker (Joe Dirt,Strange Wilderness, Goldeneye) is upset because his valley girl daughter played by Corrine Bohrer (Zapped,They Call Me Bruce, Revenge of the Nerds 4) is always spending her time and his money there. One day Rutter goes to the establishment to retrieve his daughter and he walks in on two naked women running through the arcade after a romp with Jeff after a fire alarm prank gone wrong, This prompts Rutter to believe there is more going on here than playing games, and he starts to plan how to shut the place down. Rutter Sends in his two nephews Arnie and Max in to investigate with Max dressing in drag and calling himself Maxine, and enjoying that a bit too much. The two henchmen decide to break in to the arcade after hours to steal all the games and this plan fails as Jeff unloads the games back after draining the gas out of there vehicle and snatching the games back while the two are gone going for gas. Meanwhile Eugene and Dorfus break into Rutters house to find some info to blackmail Rutter into leaving the kids alone, this leads to a moment where eugene and dorfus end up in bed with Rutters wife while she is sleeping and the fart jokes ensue.After several failed plots to get the Arcade shut down including a parents rally and a City Counsel meeting Jeff agrees to have a Video Game showdown between a player of Rutters Choosing versus Dorfus and if Jeff's man looses he will shut down the arcade. Rutter enlists the help of King Vidiot a Punk gang leader to do his dirty work in a competition of Super Pac Man. Of course on the day of the final battle Dorfus is nowhere to be found and it turns out that he has been kidnapped by Rutters men and is being held captive at Rutters house. Back at the Arcade Jeff Who never plays the video games decides to step up but there is one problem, Jeff gets violently ill when staring at the screens and we get a flashback scene describing why. See apparently on the opening day of the Arcade Jeff and his girlfriend Sandy were doing it for the first time in the arcade after hours when Jeff sees Sandy's fathers reflection in a game screen this causes the father to be outraged , to beat his daughter and leave town for good. So every time Jeff plays he revisits this horrific event in his head. One training montage later Jeff heads out to Play for his life. At this point we see Dofrus at Rutters house struggling for freedom when his consistent Farting awakes Rutters wife who apparently is turned on by this? And Dorfus convinces the woman to release him and he will return with even more young "Hunks?" to have her way with. The showdown begins and Vidiot is destroying Jeff until he decides he is far enough ahead to give up , Dorfus returns to the Arcade to take over but Decides that Jeff needs to get over his fear of video games and win this one for himself, And of course after the pep talk he does just that. The happy ending continues as Grandpa Bailey returns and has Jeff's girlfriend Sandy with him. After the reunion Dorfus and Jeff decide they need to get Eugene Laid and they arrive at a hotel where Mrs. Rutter awaits dressed in leather and there we have it. This flick is pretty standard stuff not much strays from the typical business in peril teen comedy with tits just thrown in for extra measure.
Although I remember as a child having a huge crush on the one girl in this film that does not get nude Corinne Bohrer, I always liked that lady growing up she was just adorable to me even while doing her obnoxiously accurate Valley girl impression. If you are one that enjoys films like Porky's, Ski School, Bikini Car wash Company and the like then this one is up your alley if not definitely not worth hunting down because you are not missing much, Although I really would love to find the soundtrack to this film because the opening credits song is pure gold...."Totally Awesome Video Games!" "Video To The Max!"
2 out of 5

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