Friday, September 17, 2010

Hardrock Zombies


Hardrock Zombies

wow , now I have seen some shitty movies in my time.Trust me I have and I often find joy in most of these fecal little gems and for the most part this one is no different but man is this one bad.
I mean don’t get me wrong I didnt step into a movie entitled Hardrock Zombies expecting something the quality of dawn of the dead or even Zombie 2 for that matter,but they didn’t even try with the zombie effects with this one.The movie follows a shitty hair metal band and there manager as they travel from small town to small town playing in small bars.Until they are warned by a pretty hot nerdy chick who warns them about the upcoming gig and not to play the next small town.Well of course the band doesnt listen because they are so bad ass.turns out they should have ,as once they arrive they are harrassed by all the locals and town authorities. except for one strange family who allows them to stay with them while in town.this family turns out to be psychos of course consisting of Hot blonde,Grandpa, grandma, a lumberjack of sorts and two midgets one of which is extremely deformed.This family goes on to kill the shitty rock band in some strange scenes ,revealing there true nature,and of course hot chick=canibal grandma=werewolf? grandpa=hitler (for crying out loud) lumberjack =nazi follower and the little guys well they are just mad little guys and the deformed one eats himself alive...
once the rockers are dead, the girl who warned them previously plays a tape of the band playing a satanic rites via really bad music and they return as zombies but for some reason now they are in full on kiss garb and make-up.They walk just like bernie from weekend at bernies 2 dancing and stumbling there way to revenge on this strange collection of killers who offed them earlier.
that is about all I can say to describe this one and really I just saved you 70 or so minutes by informing you.youre not missing anything by missing out on this turd.In Fact the only reason I stumbled across this one was I was on a 80’s Rock horror kick and watched this one along with Black Roses and Rock n’ Roll Nightmare.If you are in desperate need of cheese and 80’s hair metal stick with Black Roses at least that one has some redeeming qualities.
I would give this steaming pile 1.5 out of 5
Happy viewing folks.

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