Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Taint

The Taint (2011)
Dir: Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson

Well this is another one of those films that is just too strange to put into words. This short film could be considered a commentary on the roles males play in society or the anti feminist behavior many ass holes display on a daily basis. Which would be an accurate explanation of the films underlying premise hidden under a standard spreading virus Horror theme.If you enjoy your films to be over the top and utterly insane then this one will certainly supply you with allot to talk about. Now onto the story.
          The film opens with our main character Phil as his girlfriends asks him what he see's in his nightmares, This flashes us into his mind where we see shots of bare breasts and a man then chasing him after a shot of a woman giving birth from the vagina point of view...This is not the only time this film breaks into abstract scenes and surreal shots. After the dream sequence a man arrives holding a Sickle and a Severed penis. After killing Phil's girlfriend the man chases Phil and we see that this madman is exposing his giant penis as it spouts out blood and semen.After apparently loosing the crazy streaker , Phil stumbles upon a trail of blood and shit which leads him back to the lunatic.Lucky for Phil, Missandra shows up and kills the madman.

After the threat is taken care of, Missandra tells Phil what has been going on. Apparently Phil was unaware that a epidemic has begun to spread around him causing all men to become monster cocked rape hungry killers b from drinking from a tainted water supply. After a few flashes of the madness going on we are treated to a flashback giving Missandra a back story. She and her husband to be were living happily together until one morning her boyfriend ingested some of the bad water and she was forced to kill him when he attempted to rape and murder her. She kills him in violent fashion and pulls his brain from his head before we are flashed back to current time where Phil and Missandra run through the Forrest fighting off several of the infected before running into a group of survivors led by Phil's old gym teacher Houdini. After another flashback series, this one providing a small back story for Houdini, He and his gang want to gang rape Missandra. Phil tries to fight the gang off but is overpowered until a mysterious mask wearing man arrives and tears Houdini's face off.

Phil and Missandra follow the masked man back to his hideout with the promise of untainted water. Upon arrival they find there is no water as he offers the two wine and goes into yet another flashback for the masked man named Ludasi. It seems he was once a scientist who was working on a new chemical that would increase penis size and in the process get him laid.After experimenting on himself and seeing the results he pitches the Cockzantium to a Pharmaceutics business. We then are shown a strange ad for the new wonder drug where Nazi's are killing everyone who apparently has a small penis..? after the strange ad we see Ludasi and he love interest/assistant talking about the invention when her father accidentally drinks the Cockzantium and turns int a cock monster killing her and atacks Ludasi. Ludasi quickly goes to alert the Pharmaceutics company of this dangerous side affect but it is too late as the company owner already has made plans to pump the drug into the water supply for some reason.As the men of the town become blood thirsty monsters, Ludasi does all he can to try and stop the spreading but gets his face ripped off in the process by one of the monsters he helped create , and this is why he wears a mask and rips others faces off... When the flashback is finally over, We see yet one more flashback. This one of Phil performing a home abortion on one of his ex girlfriends for some reason. Once we get back to present time , Ludasi tells Phil that the wine he was given was also tainted and he will soon become a monster as well. Phil loses it and prepares to shot ludasi but not before Ludasi kills Missandra by shoving his penis through her skull.Phil then kills Ludasi and heads out to the streets to kill all the beasts he can but collapses to the illness and the credits roll.

Ok....With that out of the way, I want to apologize for the lackluster review of this flick as in all honesty it was hard to find good screens for the page since everything happens so fast in this film it was hard to get good screen shots. Also the fact that a good 70 percent of this hour long film was flashbacks it was a bit hard to follow. On the surface the film is your standard contamination virus spreading horror film, but with the addition of all the over the top characters and all the insane gore and giant flailing cocks it was a strange one to review. If you were to take a Troma film and mix it with South Park humor and a dash of 70's exploitation somewhere you may come up with this film. I will say I found it quite enjoyable but it is certainly not for those who are easily offended. This film obviously tries to push boundaries and peoples buttons and i could see it succeeding in doing those things. If you  enjoy bathroom humor and laugh at the slightest mention of penis than you will have a blast with this flick, I am not a huge fan of this type of humor but I do enjoy cheesy movies and that is exactly what this film is, A seriously cheesy flick. I know that they are trying to touch more serious issues through satire here but in all honesty it doesn't show through all the cock and balls on the screen.

Nudity:6 (If you count fake plastic giant penises)
Characters: 4
Overall:6 out of 10

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