Sunday, December 12, 2010

Girls School Screamers

Girls School Screamers  (1986)
Dir: John Finegan (Blades)

Sometimes the love of Bad/Odd cinema pays off hugely when one finds a hidden gem that is so bad it's good and the occasional surprisingly all together good film, But for every Great find like Combat Shock or Private Parts there is always more often than not just pure schlock. Unfortunately this film falls into the latter category. Girls School Screamers was just a chore to sit  through, Truthfully this film just had  nothing appealing to offer.
The story is not all that bad and the acting is not awful but the movie is really simply boring. After a legitimately creepy moment involving a young boy sneaking into a haunted house , where he is scared off by a ghost in a bridal gown.

The story focuses on a group of catholic school academic achievers who are called upon by their Mother Superior to catalog the belongings of the recently deceased deans house.

 Upon arrival we learn a little about each girls personalities and one night the girls decide to play with a make shift Ouija board to call upon the spirits in the house while the Nun in charge sleeps.

The board spells out painting and shortly after being disrupted by the angry nun, Our main character Jackie and a friend head back to the room to check the only painting in the room which reveals a picture that bares a striking resemblance to Jackie, Turns out to be a painting of Jennifer the school owners niece whom he had more than a family bond with.
Later we learn of the Home owner/ school dean and His niece Jennifer's relationship through a series of journal entries that Jackie stumbles upon.The next day while doing inventory one girl decides to play on a dumbwaiter and when she arrives in the basement she is killed, but nothing is shown and when a girl goes to track her down she is caught on a swinging meat hook in one of the stupidest scenes ever filmed.
Being that this film was put out by Troma I really was expecting the gore to be somewhat amped up on this one and really this could easily been a PG movie as there is little to no blood in the entire film, Disappointing considering the movie cover with the hatchet and all.So the rest of the girls start to turn up missing and the nun begins to feel ill as the spirits in the house start to take over. While Jackie notices the strange on goings and begins to try and track down her classmates while back in town Jackie's Boyfriend Paul does some research on the house and finds out about the story of the dean and his niece also finding the resemblance to Jackie in the process. A few other girls are offed as one is drug into a lake in the backyard by some swamp thing looking hand and another is shocked to death and melted by pulling on a light cord.

 Around this time Paul arrives at the house to alert her and the others about his findings and Jackie tells him to get his car to the house so they can get the Nun to a hospital, when Paul's friend retrieves the car it drives  itself and runs the friend over.
After sending yet one more person to  retrieve the car , Paul decides it is taking to long and he goes to get the ride when he is pitchforked down by a creepy puppet man like thing, at least I think that is what happened as you never actually see where the pitchfork comes from....But at least the puppet thing was genuinely creepy looking.

We get our climax as Jackie enters a room where the Dean Terry has returned to marry who he believes is Jennifer and we see a room filled with the victims dressed as bridesmaids and groomsmen, also apparently Jackie has been taken over by Jennifer now and we get a flash back showing that Terry killed his niece when she would not give into his physical advances.

 Jackie proceeds to gouge Terry's eyes out and Then Jackie , The Nun and one other surviving girl get into a car that just appears with a doctor driving it and they make their escape as we see the shadow of Jennifer peering from the window upstairs.

After watching this film I see what the film makers were going for and they could have had a decent little Haunted house film here but the pacing , and lack of scares and gore for that matter really dulled this film down to a crawl and it literally took me three sit downs to finally finish this movie which is saying allot because I have sat through some pretty awful movies in one sitting many times. This film was just downright boring and again, I was expecting allot different especially coming from Troma studios. Not that Troma films are normally that great, but they for the most part are always entertaining and have a certain charm about them, this one really lacked all of that. Simply said this was one of the most boring films I have ever seen in my entire life and it did have potential so that makes it even sadder. I cant even think of one reason to recommend this film at all not even for an extreme  Troma enthusiast. Skip this one at all costs unless you need a sleeping aide, because this film did successfully put me to sleep twice while trying to get through it for this review.
Really bad movie but at least it wasn't Thankskilling.........with that said.
Overall score 2 out of 10

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