Saturday, January 15, 2011


Pervert! (2005)
Dir: Jonathan Yudis
Starring: Mary Carey (Adult Film Actress/VH1's Celebrity Rehab)
Opening statements:
In the tradition of the films of Russ Meyer comes this tribute of sorts . If you are familiar with Mr. Meyer's   work then you should know what to expect from this film when I say that. A film high on nudity, Big Breasts in particular and an over the top story with cheese dialog. This film came out during the retro/vintage film craze that boomed shortly after Quentin Tarrantino's Grindhouse, and I truly love the fact that once that film was released many older films started to get there chance to shine and get DVD releases after years of sitting on VHS shelves of small shops and collectors like myself's personal catalogs, also it allowed films like this paying homage to the genre's of yesteryear to get green lit all throughout the market. Anyway on to the film.

Synopsis:  Young James returns home from college to visit his father Hezekiah for his spring break. Upon arrival he meets His fathers new love interest a young Busty beautiful woman Cheryl. Almost immediately Cheryl begins to flirt with James and things get uncomfortable instantly, especially in a scene where James hears his father and Cheryl having sex while he masturbates in the next room, If I forgot to mention James is a chronic masturbator as well. This is not helped as Cheryl is roaming around nude throughout the house most of the time.

The following morning James is working with his father in the fields when he decides to take a lunch break and Cheryl makes her first move but it is unsuccessful as James is attacked by bee's.
While James sleeps off the swelling he has nightmares of a voodoo ritual he participated in while in college down in Louisiana , which we will learn more about later.When he wakes His father shows James his new hobby of making sculptures out of raw meat, which leads the townsfolk to understandably believe Hezekiah is nuts, rightfully so.

After breakfast  James decides to take his car into town to be looked at by a mechanic  , in order to make sure his tires and engine is good enough for his long ride home back to the big city, Here we meet the films director Jonathan Yudis playing one of the strangest hybrids imaginable as he portrays a Redneck, Nazi, Wigger, with homosexual undertones. This does make for some interestingly funny dialog between the two before James heads back to his fathers house on foot. While on his way home James is almost bitten by a snake when Cheryl arrives in his fathers truck just in time to save him. On their way back Cheryl finally achieves her conquest but narrowly escapes being seen by Hezekiah in the process.
Following their first fling, Cheryl and James start to carry on a relationship behind Hezekiah's back , Literally. Eventually Hezekiah catches the two in the act and that night James can hear his father beating Cheryl and in the morning she is mysteriously gone, Leading James to believe his father may have killed her in the middle of the night.
Hezekiah heads into town to get his mid off of things while James stays behind and snoops around to find evidence of Cheryl being killed and when Hezekiah returns he has a new lovely lady with him to replace Cheryl. Once again James is pursued by his fathers love interest and is seduced into meeting up in the kitchen to have sex while the old man sleeps, But James decides to sneak into his fathers studio to investigate further. Meanwhile back in the house the woman is penetrated by an unseen object from behind believing it is James she enjoys the ride, while James finds Cheryl as she walks into the studio covered in blood and then her head falls off in front of him covering James in blood. Ashly is killed by this mysterious creature that was penetrating her and Hezekiah finds her body shortly before James returns to the house covered in blood. Obviously The father suspects James and he says that they must keep quiet about the events and dispose of the bodies without anyone knowing.
After burying the bodies James learns that all of these ladies his father has been seeing were prostitutes and at this point he believes his father is killing them. He calls to have his father committed to a nursing home for being crazy and a Nurse is sent to evaluate Hezekiah. James requested a male but Patricia shows up instead. Patricia begins to interrogate Hezekiah about the missing girls using some questionable methods like farting in his mouth and while he is handcuffed to a bed, afterwards James and Patricia start to get involved and begin to have feelings for each other rather quickly.In the middle of the night she sees some sort of creature scurrying through the house and gives chase to no avail.Later while Patricia is bathing the creature reveals itself, and it is none other than a walking Penis.
After the attack James reveals to Patricia that while in Louisiana he under went a voodoo ceremony that would make him irresistible to females but the downside was that all women would fall victim to his penis that detaches itself from him and kills anything it has sex with.From here the two try and track down the monster cock and they head into the desert to trap and destroy it. Out of nowhere the mechanic shows up to rape James for payment on the repairs and he is choked to death by his dick, then Patricia is taken down by the penis and enjoys it until it burrows it's way through her entire body . after this James tries to kill his penis but his father stops him and tries to explain it's  origins and how to control it .
Everything appears to be wrapping up on a happy note until Patricia return to reveal herself as Cheryl's lover who is there to get revenge on the men for killing her. She shoots Hezekiah and stomps on the Penis, then tries to burn it to death in a bee's nest before she collapses and dies. James upset that yet another girl he loved is dead he lights his own penis up and that appears to be the end..... Flash forward 6 months and James is back at school with a new girlfriend he prepares to propose to her and we get a surprise to close the film.
Final thoughts: Pervert! is a fun movie and if you go into it expecting just that you will be pleased. This is about as cheesy and ridiculous as you can get for a movie and I really enjoy it, I have watched this film numerous times and it never gets old. The entire movie is shot very much like a Russ Meyer film as I stated before with several random flashes to naked women who have nothing to do with the film at all and this adds to the homage of Mr. Meyer's style on top of that Mary Carey was a great choice for this film as she suits the Meyer's Build perfectly, and she would be a perfect match with the likes of Kitten Natividad and Uschi Diggard amongst others . One thing I didn't quite understand though is that you have Mary Carey in the role of Cheryl in the beginning and after her the girls seem to go downhill in the looks department which I find odd,  I would think it would have been better if it was the other way around but that is not too huge of a deal because all of the women in the film are pretty in there own unique ways. As far as killer penis movies go (yes, there are more of them out there) this one is one of the better ones along with frank Henenlotter's Bad Biology which is a funny yet darker take on the subject matter. This is definitely a guys film as a majority of the film is just nude woman playing dumbed down roles , So a date movie this is not, then again why would you watch a killer penis movie on a date in the first place? If you are in the mood for something silly , Lighthearted and completely off the wall this film is perfect,Plus if you make a drinking game out of how many times breasts are on screen you could get one hell of a buzz going. Definitely not an award winner and this is not for the gore hounds out there but if you get a kick out of sex comedies or are a fan of the films of Russ Meyer you will thoroughly enjoy this one.
Now here is a couple of the random boob a bonus before I rate this gem.

Overall: 7 out of 10

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