Well I guess I asked for it when I promised to devote October to rare and extra cheesy Horror, Knowing I would stumble upon some real stinkers along the way. So here is Rock n' Roll Nightmare, One of the few in a small sub genre of horror that popped up in the 80's , The Heavy Metal Horror flick. In a genre populated with films like Black Roses, Trick or Treat, and Hard Rock Zombies as well as the genre becoming popular enough that the Slumber Party Massacre first sequel would even dabble in this niche. One thing I can say about these films is, When one thinks of 80's cheese one of the first things that comes to mind would be Hair Metal and when you mix that with the already campy genre of horror films from that era you get a mixture that normally misses the mark and comes off as the essential prototype for 80's cheese all rolled into one 90 minute reel of celluloid. That brings us to tonight's film.
The film opens with a typical family living in a farm house secluded in the countryside when the family is apparently attacked by demons. Quickly after that we meet with the Band Triton whom are led by Thor and they are en route to the farm house to rehearse and finish their latest album. After the band and their ladies get comfortable with their new surroundings they hit the barn that has been turned into a huge recording studio to rehearse their music when we see a strange little creature lurking in the shadows. The demons waste no time in possessing the band mates and friends as Drummer Stiggs' girlfriend Lou Anne is taken over and she seduces their road manager Phil, Biting him on the neck in the process. The group hears Phil scream and when they go to find him he is missing as well as the bands van. Thor not thinking too much about this believes Phil left to head into town but investigates anyhow after everyone else heads back to the house but finds nothning out of the norm. Now we get to know the couples a little better and learn that the bands keyboardist Dee Dee has a thing for Max the guitarist as well. All the couples have their little hook ups and everything still appears normal.
However after Stiggs disappoints Lou Anne in the bedroom, he thinking he is a stud heads to the bathroom to prepare for round two when a mysterious female appears whom turns to a demon and attacks him. This not only changes Stiggs to a demon but he knocks it out of the park the second time around. During the night a car load of groupies show up and Phil returns to let them in, He immediately tells the girls to strip and the girls get weirded out and this scene goes nowhere fast as they all seem to just disappear along with Phil. Roger and his wife get nabbed by a demon and disappear while the band rehearse without them.After the rehearsal Max and Dee Dee finally hook up while Stiggs and his lady take a walk and Thor and his lady have one of the least sexiest shower sex scenes in the history of cinema. While Stiggs is out by the lake with Lou Anne a demon arm bursts from his chest killing Lou Anne.Max and Dee Dee see a small child running through the house and follow him to the barn where the child reveals itself as a demon and kills the two of them. Thor's lady begins to show concern that everyone is missing however Thor is oblivious to it all and decides to head to the barn to finish writing his love song for the album. While in the barn a few demons are seen lurking around and Thor seems to either not notice them or just flat out not care, Can't say I blame him as they all look extremely lame. Thor's woman is possessed back in the house by the small child and she wanders into the barn to tell Thor that everyone is dead, At this point Thor calls out the demons by name and states that he has been there alone the whole time and that his band and everyone else were created by him to get the demons to show themselves. Thor then transforms into a He-man knock off complete with leather studded thong and does battle with the demon until he chokes it out and the demon gives up.
I gotta say that this film has it's moments, serving mostly for laughs. If you were too watch this while wasted with friends I am sure this would have everyone cracking up, but as a horror flick it is just pathetic. It appears more as a vehicle for rocker John Mikl Thor to try and stay relevant and get his name out there more than anything else.The acting is awful, the effects are horrible and the music is absolutely cheesy as can be, However with that said there were a few things I enjoyed about it. The actress playing Dee Dee looked exactly like former SNL cast member Jenny Slate playing her Jersey talk character so that was hot, Thor turning into a knock off Masters of the Universe character and trying his hardest to look tough while fighting clay starfish was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in along time and the acting was so bad it bordered on genius screen writing. If you are one that enjoys serious cheese than this should definitely give you the fix you are looking for, and this film would be a nice double feature with the directors other Heavy Metal Horror film Black Roses which in my opinion is a much better film albeit not great either but looks like A classic next to this turd of a film. Like I said already if you are into cheese or were a child of the 80's and can appreciate the stupidity of that era than there is fun to be had with this film but do not go into this one looking for anything scary , gory or serious at all because you will feel a little bit stupider after watching this film. Check your brain at the door and grab a few cold ones or some whiskey with some friends and you will no doubt have a good time riffing this film for sure. Matter of fact I think if I have a movie night anytime soon I am going to play this one in a party setting just to see how well it goes over, my guess is gangbusters.
Gore:4
Nudity:4
Story:3
Characters:3
Fun Factor:5
Overall: 4 out of 10
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