Friday, March 2, 2012

Hot Chili

Hot Chili (1985)

Dir:William Sachs (Van Nuys Blvd.)

IMDB Rating: 3.4 out of 10

So I know I promised to return to my old form and get back to the horror reviews first thing this month, But this week has been truly rough for me and I needed something light to help me relax. One thing that always seems to cheer me up and put a smile on my face is 80's-90's Sex romps and this flick fit the bill. I stumbled upon it a few nights ago while searching the free movies available on my On Demand service and decided to track down a copy and get to it here. So all things aside let's get down to this stinker.
         Four stereotypical 80's "Teen" movie characters head out to Mexico to work at a resort over the summer in hopes of scoring and partying the nights away, Unfortunately for them the resort owner Esteban Rodriguez Cortez the 3rd plans on putting them to work immediately.As the guys get to their duties we get a little development and quickly see which guy is which standard plot device as we have "The Leader of the Pack/Nice guy looking for love" Ricky Lieberman, "The Playboy" Jason , "The nerd" Stanley and "The Fat Guy/Comedic relief" Arnie. Quickly the typical hi jinx begin as we see Stanley getting lost while trying to direct a beautiful wealthy woman to her room which quickly turns to her getting aggressive with him and it is pretty obvious where this scenario will eventually lead, While lucky Ricky delivers room service to a music teacher who just happens to spend a majority of her time naked.After the exiting run in with the lovely musician , Ricky meets his love interest Alison Baxter. The daughter of a high society guest at the resort who does not approve of her daughter fraternizing with someone as lowly as a hotel bell hop. More "Cooky" guests arrive as Jason welcomes a older newlywed couple The Houstons and they request that he babysit their grand daughter for the evening and of course she turns out to be a sexy fitness freak as he runs into her in the shower, however things don't go as smoothly for the playboy as he gets a punch to the face for walking in on her.

While the rest of the gang is having a rough time adjusting to the work schedule , Ricky's luck continues to get better as he directs a German cougar to her room as she arrives. Upon entering her room she puts the moves on him but Ricky seems a bit intimidated by her and being that he is falling for Alison he flees from the aggressive ladies advances. The gang regroups and talk about their days and no one buys Ricky's stories. Stanley is upset that he is not getting any of the action as he is very sexually frustrated, Being a good friend he decides to take his pals to see the lovely German Brigitte Fritz as she is up to party with the guys. The gang is welcomed with open arms and bare breasts as she asks which guy will be first to "Party". After much debate lucky Arnie gets the honor and enters her bedroom area to find she has some other things planned ,It turns out she is a dominatrix and locks Arnie up in shackles before putting a whooping on poor Arnie who is not into it at all. Meanwhile Brigitte's husband Herr Fritz arrives a day early and finds the guys in an awkward position to say the least. He finds Arnie in her bed and chases him with a pistol which leads to Arnie falling into a well getting trapped underneath the resort. Later Ricky is taking a break and stumbles upon the freaky music instructor again and before they can advance to getting physical the buxom Latin cook shows up and wants in. Apparently the teacher does not like to share and the two ladies get into a fight in strobe light which leads to the two girls hooking up while Ricky leaves.Shortly after that Jason is the next lucky guy to meet the instructor when delivering tequila to her pool side.

Arnie manages to find his way back to the resort and meets up with his pals in the kitchen where the guys put him in the freezer in hopes of somehow getting the shackles off of the big guy. While they leave him behind Sexy Cook Chi Chi finds him and decides to help him keep warm.Ricky and Alison continue to get closer while Arnie now stumbles into the Music teacher. Outside Ricky's family arrives to vacation there and his father finds something he likes in the rich snobbish woman from earlier Victoria. Later that night Ricky's father sets it up that Victoria is forced to sit at their table so he can try and make his move even though his wife is right there.Ricky embarrassed by his family decides to stop by Alison's table to say hi and her mother will have none of it. After dinner Alison finds Ricky and shows him a little skin as the couple flirt. Meanwhile Arnie is still on the prowl as he and Chi Chi hook up once again in the freezer but this time get locked in. Stanley finds them frozen together and helps them thaw out. Then we see Ricky's parent both have some extra marital activities planned as Dad heads to Victoria's room only to get denied before being called by the Music teacher , while Mom hooks up with one of the managers of the resort.

Stanley is feeling down because he is the only guy not to get any action as of yet and is beginning to feel he is only part of the pack due to the fact he has money and a vehicle, Arnie shows up and the guys have a heart to heart where Arnie tells Stanley about the music instructor. Finally Stanley gets laid as he finds the teacher , while Arnie is working the dining area. During his shift Mr and Mrs Frittz have had a bit too much to drink and Arnie is instructed to help them to their room. Brigitte once again puts the moves on Arnie and the two hook up in the same bed as her husband , when he realizes whats going on Arnie is once again in danger as Frittz again chases him with the pistol. Ricky's sister decides to pull a prank and steals Stanley's video camera as she heads out and tapes all the couples getting it on including her own family members, Which begs the question what is wrong with this girl? Then we get a short montage of all the couples and while Arnie is being chased he finds that Stanley has hooked up with the rich bitch Victoria which was predicted. Arnie finally escapes the chase from Frittz by dressing up as a woman and joining the entertainment for the evening. Frittz of course finds Arnie in drag sexy and makes a move getting himself knocked out. Later that night during dinner Ricky's sister decides to play her findings in the dining room and everyone is busted including Ricky's parents but somehow everyone just laughs it off. The following morning we see everyone happily together in their new pairings while watching a bull fight. Then we see Arnie is again being chased and runs right into the bull fighting ring which leads to a huge chase between the bull , Frittz and the rest of the crowd follows as the credits roll.

SO there you have it Hot Chili Folks. This flick is about as forgettable as a film can get but it did have a few moments that make it worth a watch and it is a fun flick to pass some time on a boring night, It did also cheer me up a bit after a rough few nights. The highlight of the film honestly was the Music Teacher who spent the entire movie nude as she was played by the very lovely German topless model Bea Fiedler . However I would have loved to see some more of the other women in this movie because they all had phenomenal bodies especially the Victoria character and Chi Chi Played by genre regular of sorts Luisa Moritz who is a bit older but built insanely awesome. The cast of characters were about as stock as you can get and all of the gags and plot "twists" you can see coming from a mile away. The funniest parts were actually the small things like one scene in particular where Arnie is listening to some rap on his headphones and dancing while the song playing is called "Fat People" and the lyrics repeat "Too Many fat People" I got a chuckle out of that one and the Dominatrix character was funny in the way she was so over the top but all that aside, This film is the standard spring break gang out to get laid film. I know not to expect much from these types of films and to an extent that is why I enjoy them so much because they are just mindless wastes of time with a dash of hot ladies running around naked throughout. If you have seen one you have seen them all and if you haven't seen this one you are not missing much. This is however free on Comcast On Demand right now and if you like these kind of flicks it may be worth your time while laying around with nothing else too watch, so with that I say check it out. If you are not familiar with 80's - 90's sex romps this is the perfect opportunity to check one out and see if you like the genre or not. These kind of films however cheesy and lame they can be do have a certain charm to them, especially if you grew up watching them late at night with the remote by your side so you could quickly change the channel if the parents walked in on you watching it for the boobs. Times have changed since then so I don't see anyone younger than their late 20's early 30's understanding the nostalgia connected to these kinda movies but for someone like me that lived for this stuff as a young man as stupid as they can be I still hold the genre near and dear to my heart. Now with all that out of the way , I promise my next review I will be getting back to the Horror and Gore.

Fun Factor:5
Overall: 4 out of 10


  1. No mention of Robert Z'Dar as the German driver?

    1. Wow, Nice call. I am surprised i neglected that info... Guess I was distracted by the homo eroticism involved with his character. That is the things nightmares are made of... Maniac Cop Prison rape is all I could think of.

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