Blondes Have More Guns

Blondes Have Gun (1996)

Dir: George Merriweather

IMDB Rating: 3.7 out of 10

When it comes to film Sub-Genres there is not one that is more hit and miss then the Slapstick/Spoof Comedy. For every Naked Gun and Airplane there is thirty Silence of the Ham's and Epic Movie's. I went into this film with obvious hesitation and very low expectations and I am so happy I did, because this film flounders and falls into the latter category of this type of film. This is a cheap Troma cash in on Naked Gun , Hot Shots and others in the genre that was quite popular in the early to mid 90's. So how does this knock off mock off stack up? well truthfully not very well.

          The film opens with a woman killing a man with a chainsaw while in the midst of a sexual encounter. Quickly afterwards we meet our films main character and hero Det.Harry Bates, which obviously leaves an open for "Dirty Harry" and "Master Bates" jokes the lowest of brow available. The victims wife Montana Beaver-Shotz (another way to pull off cheesy name jokes) is brought in for questioning and with lack of evidence is released after a series of plays on "Basic Instinct" which you can see coming from a mile away.Montana quickly is remarried and after her husband looses all his money and is in debt with doctor bills after Montana is run over by Bates, Her husband makes an "Indecent Proposal" with her doctor ,selling her off to him for a night of romance. Seeing this is a quick and easy way to make money the couple decide to advertise this new service on T.V. As expected the new husband ends up dead after further questioning detectives learn that Montana supposedly has a Twin "Half" Sister who she pins the murders on.

Montana begins putting the moves on Bet.Bates and continues placing blame on this sister , But after doing some research Bates finds out she may not have a sister when he interrogates her psychiatrist. Although he has never seen Montana or her "Sister" Dakota in the same place at the same time he feels it may be a case of split personality. This is further solidified when Montana slips up and even states that she does not have a sister while she is on a date with the Detective. Montana or Dakota continues to play the sex pot and moves on to seducing Bates' partner Dick Smoker (You can see the running gag here with the names for quick laughs).As the bodies continues to pile up Bates begins to fall hard for Dakota, pegging Montana as the crazy sister.Montana begins to focus on Smoker and while on a date she says "Everyone is dying around me." then the camera pans out to show everyone in the restaurant is dead (This is the kind of silly humor we are dealing with here.) Since there has been no real progress in the case , the Captain (Captain Hook , Of course) decides to put Montana under surveillance .

                                                            Get it Sir Valliance?

After a hot and heavy date between Dakota and Bates , Dakota is taken into custody and now it is another cash in on the "Basic Instinct" interrogation scene, but this one provides one of the easiest and oldest jokes available as when she uncrosses her legs it reveals she is a man, which makes no sense if you go back to the prior scene. I think that would be something a bit hard to not notice in Bates' position. As Bates is forced to deal with his new found information, Montana returns to not only confess her love for Bates but to inform him that Dakota was in fact her younger brother that always wanted to be a woman. Again this makes no sence with all the prior information she had given earlier in the film and the whole split personality angle as well is now thrown out the window. While Bates and Montana are on a date it is made quite obvious that she is homicidal but he does not seem to notice.

Once Bates and Montana return to her house we are treated to one of the most pathetic attempts at a twist ending as I have ever seen. I don't wanna go into great detail but let's just say the story runs in circles between the two suspects a few times with both of them getting shot by Bates' dog that is actually a human that believes he is a canine. In the end we see Bates and Montana who now suffers from brain damage as they vacation and participate in the running of the bulls which is a play on words as a gang of "Bull Dykes" chase them down a hall. After the vacation the couple returns to their house and the ending sequence is basically repeated where we see the actual twist and the murderer is revealed which makes no sense whatsoever.

So in the end all Blondes Have More Guns is, is a blatant cash in on the spoof genre and it lacks the humor and charm of the more popular films like Naked Gun. That is not to say this film doesn't have it's moments and it is much better than the more recent films of it's kind like Epic Movie, Vampires Suck and the like. I will say though the entire time I was watching that I was thinking of things they could have done to make it much better, Sometimes subtlety is key in these kind of films and just because the joke is there to be made and is easy it doesn't always need to be touched upon because it is too easy or sophomoric.If you're a fan of the genre you may find something to enjoy here but it is nothing that had not been done several times before this film was made. I am astonished at the amount of love I have for Troma in general because they have pumped out so many lackluster and even plain terrible films in their time but ever so often the turn out a classic cult film and my love is realized. This one may be worth a watch if they put it on the On Demand Troma station but otherwise you may just wanna stick with the classics of the genre instead of seeking this one out.Unless of course you are a huge mark for fart and dick jokes, in that case this one is a classic.....I guess?

Gore:2
Nudity:4
Story:3
Characters:3
Fun Factor:3
Overall:3 out of 10