Monday, March 12, 2012
Blondes Have More Guns
Dir: George Merriweather
IMDB Rating: 3.7 out of 10
The film opens with a woman killing a man with a chainsaw while in the midst of a sexual encounter. Quickly afterwards we meet our films main character and hero Det.Harry Bates, which obviously leaves an open for "Dirty Harry" and "Master Bates" jokes the lowest of brow available. The victims wife Montana Beaver-Shotz (another way to pull off cheesy name jokes) is brought in for questioning and with lack of evidence is released after a series of plays on "Basic Instinct" which you can see coming from a mile away.Montana quickly is remarried and after her husband looses all his money and is in debt with doctor bills after Montana is run over by Bates, Her husband makes an "Indecent Proposal" with her doctor ,selling her off to him for a night of romance. Seeing this is a quick and easy way to make money the couple decide to advertise this new service on T.V. As expected the new husband ends up dead after further questioning detectives learn that Montana supposedly has a Twin "Half" Sister who she pins the murders on.
Montana begins putting the moves on Bet.Bates and continues placing blame on this sister , But after doing some research Bates finds out she may not have a sister when he interrogates her psychiatrist. Although he has never seen Montana or her "Sister" Dakota in the same place at the same time he feels it may be a case of split personality. This is further solidified when Montana slips up and even states that she does not have a sister while she is on a date with the Detective. Montana or Dakota continues to play the sex pot and moves on to seducing Bates' partner Dick Smoker (You can see the running gag here with the names for quick laughs).As the bodies continues to pile up Bates begins to fall hard for Dakota, pegging Montana as the crazy sister.Montana begins to focus on Smoker and while on a date she says "Everyone is dying around me." then the camera pans out to show everyone in the restaurant is dead (This is the kind of silly humor we are dealing with here.) Since there has been no real progress in the case , the Captain (Captain Hook , Of course) decides to put Montana under surveillance .
After a hot and heavy date between Dakota and Bates , Dakota is taken into custody and now it is another cash in on the "Basic Instinct" interrogation scene, but this one provides one of the easiest and oldest jokes available as when she uncrosses her legs it reveals she is a man, which makes no sense if you go back to the prior scene. I think that would be something a bit hard to not notice in Bates' position. As Bates is forced to deal with his new found information, Montana returns to not only confess her love for Bates but to inform him that Dakota was in fact her younger brother that always wanted to be a woman. Again this makes no sence with all the prior information she had given earlier in the film and the whole split personality angle as well is now thrown out the window. While Bates and Montana are on a date it is made quite obvious that she is homicidal but he does not seem to notice.
Overall:3 out of 10