Pranks A.K.A. The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)
Dir:Stephen Carpenter (The Kindred/The Power)
During the early 80's horror boom, slashers flooded the market and unfortunately with that craze came the repetitive routine of stalk and slash. This film sadly falls into that pile of slash by numbers genre and unfortunately this one just does not have the goods to make it stand out from the pack.
Pranks starts off with a group of co-ed's that are preparing to help close up a Dorm over the break. Joanne and a few of her friends begin the cleaning when one of the girls has to leave early as her parents come to pick her up, The killing gets started pretty early as The girls parents are offed before the girl is knocked out and run over with her fathers car.Inside the house the rest of the bunch are enjoying some beers before calling it a night and they find that a strange man is spying on them. Apparently this guy is a homeless man that roams the area regularly named John. He continues to be seen lurking around the premises while the group continues the cleaning and discarding of property.The second night the girls once again spot John stalking and they split up to find him and give him a talking to.While the gang is looking through the house Joanne gets trapped in the elevator and after the maintenance man fixes the problem he is killed by a hooded figure with a drill.
" Looks like a scene from a really bad pop music video from the 80's"
"Ah, The 80's when any bar chick could get a movie role for showing off their tits"
Later that night while the group prepares dinner someone sneaks in after stealing some of the food and smashes the table. The girls now scarred alert the police of the strange man who has been stalking them. When they return Joanna hears some odd noises coming from the roof and once again the guys split up. While the guys go searching for the suspect one of the guys Brian is stabbed in a dark stairwell, Meanwhile Joanne tries to call the police but the power is shut off. Craig and Patti head to the kitchen to look for a switch box and Craig is apparently knocked out while Patti is stuffed into a giant crock pot as the power is turned back on. Craig then returns to Joanne with out Patti and explains what had happened and that Patti is missing. Then we get a shot of John roaming the halls with a machete looking scarred and Joanne happens upon him when a chase begins, Though Craig is nowhere to be found. After Joanne hides from John she finds one of her friends bodies and strikes John with a blade as the cat and mouse game continues until Craig returns to fight John off. Joanne finally manages to get the best of John with a spiked Bat , then it is revealed to not much surprise that Craig is in fact the killer. Yet another game of cat and mouse begins this time between the crazed Craig and Joanne until Bobby Lee A sleazy guy who was looking to have some late night drinks with Joanne shows up to attempt to make a save. Craig and Bobby fight it out and Bobby seems to have the upper hand when the police arrive. Craig being a smooth talker is able to convince the officers that Bobby Lee is the man responsible for the attack and Bobby ends up getting shot. While the Officers search the premises for victims, Craig carries Joanne towards a incinerator , and the last thing we see are police discussing their findings as smoke bellows out of the vents outside. Leaving us to wonder what exactly happened as Neither Craig nor Joanne are found by the Police.
"Meth"
The only real redeeming thing about this film is the twist ending and even that can be seen coming from a mile away, The film makes it too obvious that the guy you are supposed to think is the killer is not , putting way too much emphasis on his character. The open ending though is a nice touch and leaves you wondering what exactly happened? As for the rest of the film, as I stated it is pretty standard stuff, Group of kids being stalked by a madman , they split up, and get picked off one by one. this is nothing new to the genre but it can work when done well. I for one do not think that every murder has to be over the top gore and shock but none of the killings in this one were on screen and that really does hurt the film tremendously, I mean you are making a slasher film here there should be at least a few on screen slayings...Just saying. Even for the time this film came out it is really tame and in a time period where the slasher film was reigning supreme, thanks to the VHS boom and drive-in's You needed to do something to make your film stand out and this one just does not. I would however recommend it to retro horror fans and slasher completists because it does have it's moments but they are few and far between. This one is not awful it is just awfully forgettable.
Gore:5
Nudity:2
Story:4
Characters:4
Overall: 4 out of 10
Stuck On You (1982)
Dir: Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz ( Toxic Avenger/Troma)
When people think of Troma movies the first thing to pop up normally is their flagship series The Toxic Avenger or Lesser known gems like Class of Nuke Em' High and Terror Firmer, But fact is the company had made films before the Famous radioactive superhero . Most of the earlier Troma films were cheesy Sex comedies like this one, Stuck On You. Bill and Carla are having relationship problems and head to court for Palimony since they had been living with each other although not married , they head to court to divide their belongings since their relationship is beyond repair. the Judge Gabriel decides to call them to his chambers to get a more in depth description of their situation. After asking about the good times, and finding out how they first met. The two first began dating after a freak run in at Carols job where Bill accidentally delivered some live chickens to her workplace which ended up disastrous. Afterwards he returns to apologize and the two begin dating and shortly thereafter move in with each other.The judge begins talking about great relationships from the past. Starting with the Cavemen.
Hottest Chick in the movie and she does not show off the goods, Shame on you 80's sex comedy!
After reminiscing on the good times, the judge asks where the relationship began to downhill. Starting with how Bill hid the fact he was living with Carol out of wedlock from his mother by having her pose as his maid and Bill becoming obsessed with his work constantly working on his inventions. Gabriel brings up Adam and Eve and we are treated to a scene revealing how the famous first couple met at a Bar.
This one is full of cheesetastic Sight gags, This being one of them.
This one was a funny one liner " Well sir you are in the wrong room, You are looking for small claims court."
bill and Carol look back at some more brighter moments as they flashback to a time that they were acting as hippies and ended up gluing themselves together wile experimenting with body paint. The two laugh about it but quickly realize they are there to get separated and carol begins to dig in on Bill's annoying habits that have been a driving force in her making his decision one of which is Bill's reluctance to get hitched. Then she reveals her dream wedding complete with rapping Rabi's . Gabriel continues on with his little history lesson in love as he speaks about Barbarian tribes and the renaissance couple of King Arthur and Queen Guenevere.
Two Live Jews first performance
Gabriel continues on with his stories of great love and mentions Christopher Columbus and his wife being jealous of Pocahontas , as Carol brings up Bill's jealousy issues. When Gabriel learns that Bill had been accusing Carol of cheating , claiming to have caught her in the act. Gabriel tells of Napoleon and his wife Josephine who was nearly caught having an orgy involving Baked beans when her suitors in hiding began farting in the room. We then see several situations where Bill was stalking carol in order too find her cheating one of which leads him to a funeral she was attending as he is dressed up in a clown suit. This was the last straw for carol which is unfortunate since Bill had planned to propose to her that night. Also we see Bill's trouble at work as he is busy inventing things in order to increase the egg volume at his job at the Poultry farm. Both of which nearly cost him his job as one was a machine that ended up frying his bosses prized hen and another a Chicken porno film entitled Deep Cluck, The film worked however got the chickens so worked up that they shot the eggs out of themselves ruining any chance of salvaging any of them.
Ha! You get it? This is Columbus' "Pinto". Yep they went there
Again this film fails too shoe off the goods with it's hottest actresses
Little did they know these jeans would be popular with the hip hop crowd some 20 years later
Man, The periiod costumes were so spot on in this one
After hearing Bill and carol's stories he comes to the conclusion that they indeed do hate each other and he sets up to make his decision the following day. While the couple sleeps that night they both have dreams of each other and awake in a courthouse where the famous figures of the past are the jury. Napoleon calls several witnesses to the stand revealing most of the couples problems are misunderstandings, including the man whom Bill saw carol out with was in fact her older brother whom she was trying to get to finance Bill's inventions. The couple decide they are still in love and they wake from the court dream and run to each other holding in an embrace as Gabriel re appears and it turns out he is an angel who was attempting to regain his wings. With the success of bringing the two back together he does in fact get his wings and he flies off as the couple happily embrace.
And our "Climax" Bill has a Poultry fetish.... Awful
Unfortunately I had to cut allot of the screens I wanted for this out as I am having a problem with the photo up-loader. Stick on You is a sweet harmless film filled with one liners and extremely cheesy humor, similar to what you would see in the Naked gun series. Not much really sets this apart from other sex comedies other than the fact it is incredibly low on nudity considering the genre and the fact it is made by the people at Troma. If you enjoy 80's b-Comedies you may get a kick out of this one and it really would make a great date film if you are dating someone who enjoys bad cinema. It is crass without ever being to raunchy and watching the couple finally realize that they are meant for each other makes for a cute finale. I have to say though I am a huge fan of the Sex Comedy genre and this entry is not going to go in my personal list of favorites but, it does accomplish what it sets out to and that is to be a harmless date movie with enough bathroom humor for the guys and enough romance for the ladies. This one is definitely a change of pace from what I have grown to expect from Troma but then again this one is pre Toxic Avenger so I don't think they had quite found their target audience yet.
Gore:1
Nudity:5
Story:5
Characters:4
Overall: 4.5 out of 10
SO I have finally found how to post vids on my blogs so I will now be including trailers for the film being reivewed or at least some little gem related to the film on the blog as well as the usual write up. Hope you like it.
Also voting has begun for the first Readers choice poll.
The first one is a Nazisploitation Theme and the choices are
So far S.S. Experiment Love camp is ahead in the polls, You can vote here or on my Facebook page at.... http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1602656719
Thanks and keep up the support, it means allot to me,
Editor and Chief: Nathaniel (Dick Swift) Guest
