Sunday, July 24, 2011


ScrewBalls (1983)

Dir:Rafal Zielinski (Loose Screws, Screwballs 2/Last Resort)

Well I have not been in much of a movie watching mood as of the last few weeks, As should be noticeable by the lack of activity on this site. I knew I had to get back to work and I knew exactly what kind of film would motivate me to do so.....The 80's Sex-Comedy. I recently finally got a chance to watch Squeeze Play from Troma but I could not find a version on DVD or download to get screens from so I searched and searched to find one equally as cheesy and raunchy and I stumbled across this gem of a film. Screwballs is exactly what I needed to cheer me up and get me back into the swing of things. Is it a great film ? No, But it is fun and filled with 80's cheese I have come to love. Being that I am lactose intolerant this is the only cheese I can safely enjoy without several trips to the bathroom so I get my fill whenever I can. The film follows 5 male students at T and A Highschool , who become an unlikely group of friends after they all get stuck with detention for equally perverted reasons. We are first introduced to the group as they are each busted on separate occasions. There is Rick, A popular ladies man on campus who is busted for posing as a doctor during school Breast exams,Brent another popular boy who is a bit of a jock.He gets busted for sexually harassing a female student Purity during French class, Tim the new kid who gets sentenced for being tricked into going into the girls locker room by Purity, Melvin Jerkovski , the fat kid who is sent to the office after getting caught masturbating in the lunchroom freezer after being sexually teased by some girls while serving desert in the cafeteria and Howie Bates a nerd who educates himself on the magic of mirrors in order to get a few upskirt shots at the girls. All the boys learn while in detention that they all were sent there due to the wicked  ways of the beautiful school virgin Purity Busch. After getting in more trouble while in the office for helping Purity pick up some papers she drops the boys are sentenced to a week of detention and they quickly become friends with one goal in mind, Getting to see Purity's Breasts.

Howie comes up with a plan to hypnotize purity into falling in love with him but this plan fails when the gym teacher and her class of girls play a prank on him pretending to be under his spell and then shoving him into the school pool.The boys all come up with lame plans to get their set goal all to no avail.Tim decides to try the old fashioned approach of going to Purity's house late at night, which leads to him sneaking in and mistakenly getting it on with Purity's mother before her father comes in with a shotgun to break it up. Later at a diner Tim is telling the story when Bootsie comes along and takes a liking to Tim. Tim hooks up with the school slut Bootsie at a drive in where he finds his sister on a date with Brent, This does not go over well and a fight breaks out while a Pam Grier movie plays in the background. The next day all is well as they are back on the mission and decide to bury Melvin in the sand at a local beach in order to get a peak at purity's breasts,This also does not go well as he is revealed midway through the attempt.

Brent is overheard telling a lie about hooking up with his Biology teacher and later she decides to give him what he wants and she seduces him before causing a explosion in the lab closet. Brent then comes up with the brilliant idea of spiking Purity's punch at a school Pep rally and this leads to the faculty going wild but Purity never gets her drink so this fails as well. More hi jinks ensue as the boys join a group of girls after hours at the bowling alley where they challenge the girls to a game of strip bowling. A funny scene happens here when Howie gets his junk stuck in a bowling ball and it is removed via exploding cock? when the girls begin to turn him on. The Boys then head to a strip club to plan their next move and while Anna Tomical (Raven de La Croix, of Russ Meyers Up!) strips the catch their principle being puled on stage. The Boys take a picture to blackmail him although this is never used throughout the film for whatever reason. The gang comes up with one last big plot to get to purity's Puppies and it involves an elaborate system of magnets. Howie comes up with the mechanics and they pan to put it to work at the Homecoming Assembly.

                                   Years after Up! Raven still has got it....

                                        One of the most beautiful women to ever grace cinema

yes sir!
At the Homecoming event Purity goes on stage to sing The National Anthem and the magnets spring into action nearly tearing the auditorium apart in the process , however the plan does work and as the credits roll we are treated to the sight of Purity's boobs finally and all is good.

Screwballs is not a deep film by any means, Really there is not much to it at all , But it is a fun watch and some of the jokes do still come off somewhat funny. I have seen allot worse in this genre and this one is honestly one of the better of it's kind and it does stand the test of time.Funny thing about it though is that yes, Purity is a really pretty girl but these guys are constantly surrounded by better built and more approachable girls almost at every turn so why  is she so important? I get the fact that she seems taboo and unattainable but some of the other ladies in this film are gorgeous and it kind of nullify's the importance of the prized rack they are chasing after, Unless of course they did it just to get revenge for her being such a bitch and in that case the movie is in fact better that way. If you enjoy the classic 80's T and A fests that I grew up on than this one is a must see and this would make for a good film to watch with a group of buddies just drinking and having a good time with cheesy fun. Screwballs delivers on most counts and you could do allot worse than this one when looking for a 80's sex comedy.

Overall: 6 out of 10

1 comment:

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