Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Sex o' Clock News

The Sex o' Clock News (1985)
Dir: Romano Vanderbes

In the 80's a few movie genres flooded the market but the two most prevalent were Obviously the Slasher/Horror genre and The sexy Comedy film. Also with the popularity of SNL it seems there was a sub-genre of sketch comedy based films with some of the front runners being The Kentucky Fried Movie and groove Tube but there were some lesser known gems like Jokes my Folks Never told me. Sex o' Clock News attempts to cash in on this fad and it in all honesty is a pretty sad attempt. The film opens up pretty well with a movie trailer for The Gynecologist From Hell and then goes down hill from there pretty much immediately.We briefly meet the newscasters for KSEX and they lead us into commercials. The first one being a sightseeing type of add , Selling the Golden Gate Bridge as a great place to jump off, And much like the add suggests this film is quickly falling to it's own death.The newscasters then report on Santa Claus being arrested for holding women hostage as sexual slaves and then a Entertainment report on the Miss Transvestite Pagaent. These are just pretty lame excuses to gt some T & A on the screen, Which is honestly a step up from allot of the bombs later in this flick.Then some more ads , this time for Fed up Express collection services. When we return the viewer is treated to two skits about prostitution. The first is about Elderly people seeming to turn up missing only to be found turning tricks for money and working in whorehouses then a whore house for dogs is investigated. This entire film is pretty much rinse and repeat from here on out but I will try and go into more detail. So far for a movie called Sex o' Clock news there has been less Nudity than expected and mostly just really lackluster comedy , and honestly really below par for this kind of film and that is saying allot for a genre full of one liners and bathroom humor.

After those gems we meet Stormy Knight the gay weatherman.He goes on with some typical stereotypical gay jokes and these are really pathetic and it seems the film is just grasping for attention at this point.Then Marty Cohen the Mexican sports caster reports on nude boxing and this scene has a cameo from a woman I believe is Porn star Vanessa Del Rio but I could be mistaken. After sports we get an actually pretty funny segment called "Where are they Now?" featuring a bio on Superman who is now a fat man who no longer can fly and drives the Batmobile he has purchased from Batman who has retired.Now another relatively funny segment with a story on Religious news where we see a group of nuns who have trained themselves in Martial Arts and a Training montage is played. After a few decent sketches , We are treated to my personal highlight of the film which is a five minute naked car wash scene featuring some pretty nice looking women and one with some very impressive breasts in the mix. This is the kind of stuff I expect from an 80's Sex Comedy tons of gratuitous Nudity, If the film had more of this and more half way funny sketches like the two prior to this scene  it may be able to save the film from just being pathetic, But then....

A Cooking segment is shown preaching the benefits of eating worms, This one really just screams lameness.A valiant effort is then made in attempt to portray comedy with a funny ad for Guns R' Us where a child is shown how to operate and load a machine gun . This is one of the very few scenes that actually reminded me of Kentucky Fried Movie due to the dark undertones and it is followed by another decent skit in  Entertainment news we see a feud between Elizabeth Taylor and Joan Rivers played out in a wrestling match where The Fabulous Mulah is supposed to be Liz, This one I got a kick out of because it was nostalgic to see Mulah and it was pretty funny especially compared to most of the other bombs so far.This was followed by a quick harmless segment called Celebrity Bedrooms where a hidden camera is placed in Tom Selecks Bedroom where he is participating in some S &M. The laughs don't last long though as the next portion is a report on a Bi-Brain Transplant where a gay man undergoes brain surgery to become straight.Then the movie begins to move at a rapid pace with several bland yet very short skits pass including a Drive by funeral service , A church for cars , dead bodies being given as gifts ,  and a save the Piranha campaign.

Next is Mr. Rajh's Neighborhood , a children's show where the host discusses the children's parents swinging lifestyle and we get a glimpse inside Club Plato.A bio of Lil' Mickey Sickey a 8 year old insult comic who insults the elderly is shown but it is footage of some strange church with a child providing the sermons is used .
Then a ad for The Hell's Angels late show, Followed by the Game show hit "You bet your ass" where death row inmates and their families play for money , freedom and drugs with their lives as the wager. This was another one of the funnier scenes in the film as again it was reminiscent of Better films in the genre like again Kentucky fried Movie.After the game show we are brought back to the KSEX news desk where a police officer arrives and arrest the producer of the channel for indecent television and I gotta thank him because in 80 mins they have provided maybe 10 minutes of entertainment and five of those minutes were pretty much soft core porn with the car wash scene.

I went into this film with high hopes since I am a fan of this type of film and Sketch comedy in general but the entire time I was watching this film I was just thinking about how I could be and would rather be watching A Kentucky Fried Movie. This film does have a few legitimate laughs but they are so far and few between and they are so short lived it makes the rest of this film just painful to watch. If you are a fan of the genre you may wanna check this one out but trust me don't get your hopes up because you can do much better. I mean when the highlight of your comedy film is a 5 minute naked car wash scene there is a problem with your writers. I found this film to be really boring and it felt much longer than it's near 80 minute time span due to all the bombs cluttering the very few decent skits. Personally I really don't think this one is worth tracking down even if you are a huge fan of the genre because this one is rare and truly not worth the money or time you will spend trying to find it. I think I may pop in Kentucky Fried Movie now just to wash my eyes and brain of this travesty.I think the opening joke of the movie sums the film up best.....
                                                          INDEED IT IS.............................................................................

Nudity: 7 (Mostly due to the Car wash scene)
Overall: 3 out of 10


  1. I haven't seen this movie since I was in my teens...It's Brilliant!!! Anyone got a download link?

  2. I think you missed the point of this movie haha. Which is fine since it's still a terrible movie but all this footage besides the News stuff is all from an old German film series called "This is America"

    After watching this is america, this movie is actually kind of hilarious :)